listening to, i hate this song - secondhand serenade. 

i still think of 2008 as this year. ah, it's just the first day on a new year, so i'm sure most of us been having slip tongues. right? (: many humans have been asking me what my resolutions for new year. i've not yet to think about it. so i told what's on my mind. getting better grades, buying cute stuffs, having a healthy lifestyle and bla, bla, bla. what exactly do i want? in other words, what are my resolutions are? i want everything to be better and way way more better than things used to be last year. and, yes! i want to know what my freaking future looks like! really, that's my current biggest fear of all; future.

i am old. eventhough not yet officially eighteen, but i reached that age today. i feel old. i want my childhood back, seriously. i want to be a kid. i want to play police and thieves and cares about nobody. i want to do whatever the kids do. i want to play whatever the kids play. and i freaking want my childhood backkkk!!

bloop. bleep. 

new year always remind me of something. it's something funny that i shared among my friends; ima, syasya & ain. haha. nih kalau korang ingat lah. azam tahun baru, remember? can't forget how we were randomly interviewed by hariani ismail (berita haria reporter) for an exclusive interview of azam tahun baru. i think this was three or four years back. haha. kental sungguh aku pada masa itu. and i still keep that one article. hekhek.

on the other hand, school is officially re-open tomorrow except for us, i think. i wish you guys happy schooling lah, eyh. haha. whoaaa, i have to wait like, another three more days to school? heaven ah. i can't wait to see more sweet new faces wearing pink! especially, BEDAH! how sweet they can be? we'll see in monday!

i think it's clear to say that my first day of school is on monday, not tomorrow. how cool can that be? (:

i have homework, anyway. :(

and, and! atep told me that he had a haircut. botak! konfem cute kalau atep botak! :)

actually,

i am feeling so freaking diothgfnjsakddhrkjfhouij!!!!

i wish that i own the world so i could scream like nobody cares ah!

when was the last time i feel this way? i think it was way long long ago. i wish i am a robot who feels nothing. no heartache, no pain and no worries. been hiding my feelings for days. whoaaaaa, i really thought i am good at hiding things inside here (no, you can't see where, idiot). but there are some people out there who can sense my unhappiness. wahlao, so good ah. i'm not a good liar, lah.

how inhuman people can be? they're so naive about their feelings. and about the people around them. all they want is to achieve what they want. LIKE HEAVEN AH. whoever wants to listen to me? whoever wants to listen to what i'm saying?! heck, nobody effing cares.

i don't freaking care if you don't understand. cos i don't even understand why is this happening to me.

there's only two things i want for the time being. perhaps, it's among my new year resolutions.

which is, first, i just hope that i can make a proper decision. second, i want to know myself better.

i don't freaking care what you're gonna say. i may be sad, but i'm not weak. this situation is such a bleak. i hate it.

p/s : my new year starts off quite bad. heck, nobody cares.